One question that perked my little doggie ears inquired, "Which of these female celebrities have the best body?" (OK, the magazine spelled "best" wrong, but I'm just going to pretend I didn't see that.) The boys replied:

Keira Knightley = 6%
Kate Moss = 1%
Abbey Clancy = 11%
Alex Curran = 3%
Coleen McLoughlin = 4%
Giselle Bundchen = 8%
Kelly Brooke = 40%
Holly Willoughby = 6%
Mylenne Klass = 15%
Kate Winslet = 6%

Don't worry, I had no idea who the hell those women are, either. But then I looked up Miss Popular, Kelly Brooke, and found out she looks like this. Of course she does. P.S. I totes have a shiny blue bathing suit JUST LIKE THAT—I'm planning on lounging in it by the pool in Mexico this coming Thanksgiving with my husband's family.

When they asked men, "Do you wish your partner was more body confident?"
77% men said yes.
The rest are single or bastards.

Raise your hand if you've played this game with a partner...the one where you bitch and moan about a body "flaw" (For me, it's my butt, which I refuse to let Dan see head-on, lest he turn to stone. Literally, I will walk out of the shower backwards to avoid a full moon. This is my husband we're talking about here. And I am a body image expert. Shit happens.) and then he/she tells you how beautiful you are—and means it—and then you whine, "No, I'm a fat cow and there are people in Machu Picchu right now who can see my cellulite, it's so obvious." I mean, hypothetically speaking.

What if we could just erase these insipid, frustrating convos and just accept a compliment and—shock—not feel like we have to kvetch in the first place? Surveys like these, even if they are filled with spelling errors, should bolster us up. Our lovers don't want sticks. Or maybe yours does, and you happen to be long and willowy, so it's perfect. The point is, your guy or girl is attracted to you—otherwise they wouldn't constantly be trying to get you liquored up and into bed be your mate. Shake whatchya got, because chances are, it's what they want. Please don't misconstrue this as me saying we exist to please our partners or should place their views above our own. That ain't my tune, and now you don't smell what that Rock is cooking. I'm just saying, on the occasion where you feel out of touch with your bod and unhappy with your bloated belly/uneven boobs/thick thighs, think of these Fabulous men and remember that they, more likely than not, wish you were four sizes larger.